1+ hour, 57+ min ago  (266+ words) The US and Iran have agreed to take part in a game of rock, paper scissors to finally decide who will control the Strait of Hormuz." With news emerging last night of yet another stand off in the ongoing war…...

6+ day, 2+ hour ago  (243+ words) Following the announcement of Israel's ten-day ceasefire with Lebanon, sources have confirmed Benjamin Netanyahu has been suffering with severe withdrawal symptoms after not being allowed to kill anyone for the last few hours." The Israel Defence Forces had been fighting…...

2+ week, 1+ day ago  (281+ words) The Oxford English Dictionary has decided to update its definition of the word "ultimatum" after Donald Trump skewered its original meaning. Following Donald Trump"s latest "ultimatum", which once again failed to deliver what he wanted, scholars have decided "Word…...

2+ week, 1+ day ago  (227+ words) Donald Trump has withdrawn his threat of obliterating Iran, after he was asked nicely not to. The alleged President of the United States had threatened to destroy Iran completely, in a threat as lunatic as it was impotent. However, a…...

4+ week, 1+ day ago  (327+ words) Donald Trump has confirmed he held "very productive, very delicious" peace talks with Iran last night, after successfully reaching what he described as "a top Iranian contact" by phone. White House officials later clarified that the call had, in fact,…...