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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > middle-east-expanded-to-include-michigan

Middle East Expanded To Include Michigan

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (30+ words) DETROIT, MI — Following the Senate primary victory won last night by Abdul El-Sayed, an official announcement was issued that the Middle East had expanded to include the state of Michigan....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > to-fight-antisemitism-mamdani-announces-mandatory-safety-camps-for-jewish-residents

To Fight Antisemitism, Mamdani Announces Mandatory 'Safety Camps' For Jewish Residents

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (26+ words) NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zoran Mamdani already made good on his pledge to combat antisemitism, as on Thursday he introduced mandatory "safety camps" for Jewish residents....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mamdani-tries-to-catch-netanyahu-with-trap-labeled-free-bagels

Mamdani Tries To Catch Netanyahu With Trap Labeled 'Free Bagels"

1+ mon, 2+ week ago   (39+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vowing to do everything in his power to execute the ICC arrest warrant for Israeli Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Mayor Zohran Mamdani set fresh, free bagels outside the Capitol to lure Netanyahu into a clever trap....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mamdani-condemns-the-rise-in-violence-against-jews-since-he-declared-war-on-them

Mamdani Condemns The Rise In Violence Against Jews Since He Declared War On Them

1+ mon, 2+ week ago   (25+ words) NEW YORK, NY — After personally declaring war on the Jewish people, Mayor Zohran Mamdani issued a forceful condemnation of the rise of violence against Jews....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > new-yorker-being-stabbed-on-street-corner-glad-to-know-mamdani-focused-on-bringing-netanyahu-to-justice

New Yorker Being Stabbed On Street Corner Glad To Know Mamdani Focused On Bringing Netanyahu To Justice

1+ mon, 2+ week ago   (39+ words) NEW YORK, NY — As a mugger repeatedly stabbed him on a Manhattan street corner, local resident Ethan Wallace took comfort in the knowledge that Mayor Zohran Mamdani remained laser-focused on bringing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to justice....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > unable-to-arrest-netanyahu-mamdani-takes-down-bibi-with-vicious-diss-track

Unable To Arrest Netanyahu, Mamdani Takes Down Bibi With Vicious Diss Track

1+ mon, 3+ week ago   (41+ words) NEW YORK, NY — After coming to the sobering realization he has no authority to arrest a world leader, Mayor Zoran Mamdani reportedly released an epic hip hop diss track designed to get Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu shaking in his…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mamdani-sadly-admits-he-lacks-legal-authority-to-invade-poland

Dejected Mamdani Admits He Lacks Legal Authority To Invade Poland

1+ mon, 3+ week ago   (25+ words) NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani tearfully admitted in a recorded statement that he does not, in fact, have any legal authority to invade Poland....