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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > man-arrested-in-britain-for-briefly-thinking-about-sharing-meme

Man Arrested In Britain For Briefly Thinking About Sharing Meme

3+ week, 13+ hour ago   (18+ words) BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND — Local man Roger Fisher was arrested this morning on suspicion of briefly considering sharing a meme....

Google News
babylonbee.com > news > thousands-of-accountants-board-higgins-boats-in-preparation-for-economic-d-day-against-iran

Thousands Of Accountants Board Higgins Boats In Preparation For 'Economic D-Day' Against Iran | Babylon Bee

3+ week, 1+ day ago   (169+ words) PERSIAN GULF — Clutching their pens and calculators tightly, thousands of accountants boarded Higgins boats this morning in preparation for the launch of "Economic D-Day" against Iran. Several of the men made their last, final update to their actuarial tables as…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > man-sent-to-hell-after-phone-autocorrects-his-text-message-to-praise-fod

Man Sent To Hell After Phone Autocorrects His Text Message To 'Praise Fod"

3+ week, 2+ day ago   (26+ words) HADES — A man was sent straight to Hell after his new phone autocorrected his text message from "Praise God" to "Praise Fod."...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-claims-strait-of-hormuz-for-us-unveils-floating-golf-course

Trump Claims Strait Of Hormuz For U.S., Unveils Floating Golf Course

3+ week, 4+ day ago   (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that after declaring the Strait of Hormuz an official U.S. territory, it had immediately been filled by a floating Trump golf course....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > devastating-francesca-hong-forced-to-return-home-and-spend-time-with-her-white-son

Devastating: Francesca Hong Forced To Return Home And Spend Time With Her White Son

1+ mon, 10+ hour ago   (28+ words) MADISON, WI — After suffering a stunning electoral upset, a distraught Democratic governor hopeful Francesca Hong will be forced to return home and spend time with her white son....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > tucker-carlson-tells-wife-that-israel-must-have-planted-all-those-dirty-dishes-in-the-sink

Tucker Carlson Tells Wife That Israel Must Have Planted All Those Dirty Dishes In The Sink

1+ mon, 1+ day ago   (29+ words) WOODSTOCK, ME — Podcast host Tucker Carlson reportedly deflected blame over dirty dishes left in his kitchen sink on Tuesday, notifying his wife that they were placed there by Israel....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > overachiever-uses-turn-signal

Overachiever Uses Turn Signal

1+ mon, 1+ day ago   (32+ words) DALLAS, TX — Local driver and overachiever Ethan Harper reportedly showed off an insufferable level of perfectionism during his morning commute on Tuesday by intentionally using his vehicle's turn signal before changing lanes....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-meets-with-zelenskyy-to-ask-for-us-missiles

Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles

1+ mon, 5+ day ago   (17+ words) KYIV — President Donald Trump scheduled an emergency trip to Ukraine to ask President Zelenskyy for American missiles....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > democrats-celebrate-el-sayed-victory-by-firing-ak-47s-into-the-air

Democrats Celebrate El-Sayed Victory By Firing AK-47s Into The Air

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (168+ words) DETROIT, MI — Following the controversial candidate's primary win in last night's Michigan Senate primary, joyous Democrats celebrated Abdul Al-Sayed's victory by firing AK-47s into the air. The primary win, which now sends radical Muslim Al-Sayed on to the general election…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > spain-proudly-announces-that-ceuta-is-the-fastest-growing-city-in-the-world

Spain Proudly Announces That Ceuta Is The Fastest-Growing City In The World

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (25+ words) MADRID — The Spanish government proudly announced that after a recent demographic change, the city of Ceuta is now the fastest-growing city on the planet....